Q&A: 5. Mourning Rituals

தமிழில் படிக்க இங்கு செல்லவும். 

Mrs. Srinidhi Vasudevan from Bangalore asks, “There is usually a certain mourning period following death in our tradition. We are also expected to take a full bath in the clothes worn at that time of the news. If we are not in the vicinity of dead person and also not very familiar with the person (though related) is it still necessary to take a bath and mourn? “

Answer: Our tradition stipulates the period succeeding death (and birth) as Asoucham (unclean or ‘taint’) and instructs that the near-and-dear ones to mourn the loss for a certain period after taking a total bath. In earlier days, everyone lived in closed communities and there was no dearth of communicable diseases. Since all families in the community participated in helping the bereaved family they get literally ‘tainted’ by visiting the house of death. So it was important that all family members in the community take a full bath to cleanse themselves of any germs or impurities that might have inadvertently got carried with them. And another important reason was that showering infuses energy and douses any negative emotions present in the body so that one becomes emotionally ‘purified’ and rejuvenated.

Presently, the scenario has changed and everyone has moved away to different parts of the world. Even the relationship depth has dropped down to the level of just immediate cousins or nieces. So should the passing away of an elderly uncle whom we never met warrant a shower? I would say yes for two reasons (apart from Dharmic ones, that is). One, even if one does not understand the ritualistic rules, if we believe in the system, is there any harm in doing it? It is not like Sastras demand that we chant a mantra one lakh times or donate a huge sum to charity. It is a shower after all (We even do it when the weather is sultry!). The second reason is more important. We have to remember that our kids are watching us. If we keep skipping traditions, at some point of time the customs will be completely lost. Let’s say when there is a resurgence of a joint family system (who is to say it won’t happen in a few generations), asoucham will be a valid aspect but there won’t be anyone to remind people of that. We have already lost several karmas/activities that way (Agnihotram anyone?).

To summarize, as long as it is not impossible to follow and not outright meaningless (common opinion validated by Gurus as well), it will be good to follow tradition, especially in the areas of hygiene.

Earlier questions in this series:

4. Is there one holy book for Hindus?

3. Why should we light a lamp in our houses?

2. Should I wear only traditional dresses while visiting temples? 

1. What if I don’t know the meaning of Mantras that I chant?